It's a......... BOY!

Our family of five is officially complete and we are all over the moon in love!

Eliot Gregory came into this world on June 7th at 12:55 am. He weighed 5 lbs 8 oz and was 17 3/4 inches long. He was 35 weeks and 2 days gestation but is doing very, very well. He's currently in the NICU for body temperature control issues and jaundice, which are both common for his gestation. We hope to have him home safely by the beginning of next week, if not sooner.

On Tuesday, June 6th I was continuing to have irregular contractions during my stay at Trinity but also had the addition of more pressure all afternoon. I let my nurses and doctors know and they encouraged us to do a check for progress. So the once the boys left after dinner, the doctors came in and I was measuring 8 cm. Since all the doctors were already there and we likely wouldn't gain much by waiting, we decided to move forward and prepared to meet our baby.

Pete got the boys to his parents (thankfully!) and headed over to the hospital. We did an epidural at 9:30 (more procausionary in case I had to have a C-section, as I wasn't really having very many strong contractions or pain). Then, the doctors came in around 10:30 and broke my water. We were anticipating that things would really start moving fast. However, contractions slowed down and weren't being picked up on the monitor. We relaxed and both slept a little. Then doctors added some pitocin, which helped to get things going. I started feeling the contractions through the epidural (again, not painful) but they still were not being picked up on the monitor. Pete left around 11:45pm to let Max out and to get pants and a sweatshirt, since we decided we had some time. Nurses came in around midnight to mess with the monitors and checked me again - fully dilated and effaced. We were ready but had to wait for Pete to get there!

They called the doctors in and everyone was in the room around 12:40am. It was a full house with my doctor, nurses, neonatal nurses, neonatal doctor and normal nursery nurses. I pushed for about 15 minutes and our son was born! It was the most peaceful birth I could have imagined!

Eliot came out screaming - and it was the sweetest sound to our ears. No one could have prepared us for how amazing hearing the first cries of our baby would be! I think we both shed a tear or two - I know I cried pretty hard.

The rest of the night/morning was a blur. Eliot nursed right away for an hour. We were on cloud 9 and couldn't settle down. Then, we were moved into a new room and all slept for a bit.

The boys came in around 7:30 that morning with huge smiles and Andrew asking, "so what is it???" Alex wanted to hold him right away and couldn't hid his happiness. Andrew took a little warming up (he had wanted a baby sister) but now is pretty smitten too. They have visited every night and always want to hold him or see him.

Eliot's first 24 hours were very good, but he started showing signs of jaundice and had issues controlling his body temp. So it was to the NICU. This was a stop we were hoping to avoid, but it hasn't been concerning as I would have thought.

We are just overjoyed to have him here - healthy and happy!

54 Days

It's been 54 days since I went into pre-term labor at 27 weeks with Baby Stop #3.

A lot has happened in those 7.5 weeks.

First, I spent 5 weeks at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics. I met many people who I will forever be thankful for having in my life. Doctors, nurses, therapists and other moms in a similar boat - they helped get me through those 35 days. In addition, I had numerous family and friends visit, send care packages, plants to cheer up my room and lots of things to do. Pete, as always, was the rock of our family - taking care of our boys, our business, and our home (for the most part). It was lonely and heart-breaking not to be with my family but it was the best place for me to be.

Then, on May 15th at 32 weeks, I got to go home. It was incredible, scary, amazing and nerve-wracking all at the same time. I was so worried I would go home and go into labor. Before discharging me they checked me again - I was still 4 cm dilated with a bulging bag of waters. They were thinking I could rupture at any time, but 32 weeks was a gestation our local hospitals were comfortable with. I took it very easy - not even going up stairs and staying off my feet most of the time. As the weeks went on, I got more comfortable, even getting out of the house a bit. It was nothing too grueling and there was always a lot of sitting.

I was able to be at Papou's 100th birthday celebration and for that I was very thankful. The entire extended Stopulos clan made it in town and it was a very special weekend to be a part of - even with sitting the whole time.

There were also things I couldn't be a part of and that pained me deeply. My dear friend lost her sister and I wasn't able to go to Ankeny to be there for her or to grieve along side her. Unfortunately, it was too risky to travel on the interstate that long.

On June 3, 53 days after going into pre-term labor, I started having contractions again. They were irregular but getting closer together and becoming painful. We decided to head into our local hospital. It is from there, I still sit - fortunately pregnant. I did dilate further - I'm now 6 cm - but my bag of waters is still so bulging, they believe it's much safer for me and baby to stay here in the hospital.

I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow and am so thankful to have made it this far, however, staying in the hospital is the last thing I want to do right now. I know this is the best place for me and for baby though and am trying to be positive. There are so many things that could be wrong - what's another 2 weeks in the hospital (which gets me to 37 weeks)?? And it's very nice to be just 5 minutes away from my family so they can bop in whenever. Now I just have to take it easy and wait. Baby will be born within the next two weeks and we are very excited to meet him or her and start on the next phase of our lives, which hopefully does not include a hospital stay for a long time!

Our Greatest Sacrifice

We were absolutely thrilled to find out on November 1st that we were expecting another baby! This little one is going to complete our family and we were all very excited. The boys couldn't wait.

We had thought long and hard about having another child after Alex and felt that we were prepared for anything that could happen. Plus, as doctors had said, the odds were in our favor that we could have a healthy, full-term baby. As 24 weeks drew near I did have concerns but everything checked out. Little did I know or could have ever fathomed that we would be going down another scary road.

On Wednesday, April 12, I decided to get a doctors appointment. I had been having some pressure that I thought was related to potentially having another bacterial infection, which I also had at 22 weeks. My appointment was at 2:45pm - they got ready to swab me and instead completely surprised me by saying that I was dilated. I was wheel chaired up to labor and delivery at Trinity Bettendorf. My doctor came in and checked me and let me know I was dilated to 5 cm.

My heart sank. I was 27 weeks and 2 days. I thought this couldn't be happening again.

From there it was another whirlwind - reminiscent of our time 3.5 years ago with Alexander - IVs, magnesium, a catheter, doctors in and out, and nurses in and out. This time they prepared for labor because they didn't think there was enough time to get to Iowa City. They would have to life flight our baby to the University of Iowa Hospitals if it was born. But God was on our side and thankfully my labor didn't progress. Instead, a few hours later I was in an ambulance with a nurse and Dr. Lentz-Kapua (Neonatologist, who came to my rescue on her day off) on our way to the University of Iowa Hospitals - still pregnant.

The magnesium did it's job and stopped my labor and contractions. My body went back down to 4 cm dilated. Unfortunately my bag of waters was bulging through my cervix, so they worried that it could still break. At that point in time it was hour by hour. Then day by day. I received two steroid shots to help the baby. I was able to get off the magnesium after a little over 24 hours. Contractions were just sporadic. I was just feeling thankful for any additional time we could get. We also had an ultra sound to check out baby and do some measurements. Everyone was also thankful to learn that Baby Stop #3 was rather big already - 2 lbs 11 oz. Grow baby grow!!

It is now Wednesday, April 19th. I'm resting comfortably at the University of Iowa Hospitals. I'm 28 weeks and 2 days and plan to make it much longer. The only catch is I'll be resting here, and not at home, for that time. They believe sending me home could be a mistake (they sent me home with Alex and I was back two days later giving birth) and plan to keep me here until our local hospitals can help - likely around 32 weeks, so another four weeks. I over analyze every movement, gas pain, and twinge in my belly. Is it a contraction? Could my water be leaking? I constantly question my body and myself. 

While I know this is the place to be it's extremely difficult not to be at home. It's hard not to be with Pete and not to see the boys everyday. We are lucky to have technology that allows me to be "there" for breakfast, dinner and bedtime.

But it's still very hard. I cry every day - just for a few minutes - and then pick myself up, pray and stay positive. My job right now is to take care of this little peanut inside of me. This will be our greatest sacrifice but one that we are prepared to do and strong enough to get through.

I'm staying busy and have had lots of visitors, for which I am so very thankful. We've also had lots of help with the boys so far, which is a relief for me. I hate that Pete has to be single Dad right now. The prayers and positive thoughts from everyone are working!! Every day pregnant is another win, so we just need to keep the wins coming.

My doctor said it's not unheard of for a mother to go full-term 4 cm dilated. So I keep that in mind during this sacrifice and instead focus on the end game of the potential of bringing a full-term baby home!

A Birth Day to Remember

Dearest Alexander,
Tomorrow is your 2nd birthday. It feels like a complete lifetime since the day you were born.

Although we had a scare with preterm labor days earlier, we thought we were in the clear. I couldn't shake the feeling that we shouldn't be leaving Iowa City when they sent us home, but I wanted to stay positive. During that stay at UIHC they gave us the odds (they were not good), but shared that their numbers were better than most. I clung to that on the way back to Iowa City the night you were born.

Your Dad remembers speeding down I-80, but I remember calm, even joking around a bit in between contractions. We weren't sure what would happen once we got there but I think we wanted to push it out of our minds for the 50 minute drive.

I was waiting alone in the emergency room for a wheelchair up to labor and delivery (while your Dad was parking the car), and I just knew you would be coming soon. For me, the rest of the evening was fast. We slept little and by 3:30am (just a few hours after we arrived there) they announced they would be taking you by c-section. I was bleeding heavily and they prepped me for surgery.

I remember laying on the surgical table in a ball trying to get through one of the contractions and I felt something burst below. Someone yelled, "She's hemorrhaging. Get Dad in here now. We have to go." Even with these words, I saw your Dad and stayed calm.

When they got you out of my body, you stayed silent. In order to see you, I had to peer through a huddle of nurses working to intubate you and connect you to tubes and wires that would keep you alive the next couple of months. I teared up but did not cry. I was scared but wanted to be brave for you.

They wheeled you away to the NICU, where you would live your first 158 days. Still I did not cry. Maybe I was in shock, but I told myself that I needed to stay calm for you. I wanted you to feel and know that your birth day was a happy day. It was the day that you came into our lives. It was the day that changed everything...for the better. It was the day that I will never forget.

Because of you our lives are complete different. Completely better. It's been a wild two years - an experience that we fight to prevent in others' lives. I've often wondered why this happened to us, but I don't think I would change it now. You've made me better, braver and more grateful than I've ever been.

I cry now, not because I'm sad, but because I've seen a miracle with my own eyes. I've been able to personally witness how much you've overcome and it makes me filled with joy. I'm so thankful to the University of Iowa and the countless number of nurses and doctors that cared for you and cared for us.

You make us laugh with your infectious giggle. We are tickled with delight when you run - very fast I might add. We love watching you interact with your brother, even with you are body slamming each other. We love your cuddles and they way you back into us to sit on our laps to look at books. We enjoy your chatter, even when we can't understand you most of the time. We love your passion for blocks, cooking and helping around the house.

Thank you for being you, Alexander the Great. Happy Birthday!

March for Babies

After months of planning and fundraising, the day was finally here.

Only, it wasn't what I had planned.

It was the coldest day in April...and raining.

Still, the 2015 March for Babies will always be one to be remembered. This year over $150,000 was raised - a record year! Pete and I were personally able to raise over $25,000 through the support of our family, friends and community.

We were able to educate on the need for more research through sharing Alexander's story on several media outlets. Here was us on Paula Sands Live: http://kwqc.com/2015/04/10/quad-cities-march-for-babies/ and on WQAD: http://wqad.com/tag/alex-stopulos/. These stories meant the world to us and our media friends shared the information with such care. 

Despite the rain, wind and cold, so many friends and co-workers came out to walk - with umbrellas and parkas! My sister was able to walk with me. Even Alexander was able to be there for the presentation (my parents took the kids back to our house due to the weather). 

Alexander was reunited with his bestie from the NICU, Frances. The Mills family joined us for the walk and then came to our house for lunch and afternoon play. It was so much fun seeing those two play side by side, without tubes or monitors. 

The night before the walk, I was emotional. I cried to Pete that this was not what I had envisioned for the year that we chaired the walk. But it ended up being so much more than I could have ever imagined. It was one of THE best days doing something greater for a cause that means so much to us.

Dear Andrew & Alexander,

On this Mother's Day, I want to thank you for some very important lessons you've taught me over the past three years.

1) Patience, patience and more patience. 

You both know how to push my buttons - Andrew by shouting and singing heavy metal at the dinner table and Alexander by throwing his milk over and over at every meal. I mean, how many times can Alexander climb the stairs or can Andrew say, "why... but why?" At least Andrew, you will call me out by saying "Mom, just stop freaking out."

2) A clean, organized house isn't always the best.

Grandma Nana always has kept a VERY clean house. I often get embarrassed when we have company because our house is less than tidy most of the time. I think right now there are toys in every room of our house - even though they are supposed to stay in the toy room! You've taught me that cleaning can take precious time away you. And while I still prefer things to be picked up, I don't waste time worrying about what our house could look like. There will be plenty of time for you to help someday Alexander, since your brother already is a BIG helper!

3) Worrying is fruitless.

This is one lesson I still struggle with, but my experiences with you both help me remember not to worry over the things I can't control. This helps me enjoy our time together in the then and now, instead of worrying what could happen or what's going to happen. How can I worry with your smiles!

4) Words are very meaningful, but so are actions.

Andrew, you've never had any issue expressing yourself. Everyday I'm impressed with your vocabulary and catch phrases. Even today you told me, "nice save Mom," as I prevented Alex from throwing his shoes in the toilet. Alexander, you are a miniature man of very few words right now, but there is nothing better than when you reach up to me to ask for a hug and a cuddle. Someday you will talk just as much as your brother, but you have taught me that showing your love is just as great as telling. 

5) I coudn't love you more. 

I felt the deepest love I have ever known when each of you was born. And that love grows every single day. Not only for you two, but especially for your father. I never knew I could love someone so much as I do him. When he giggles over something you do, or talks about how cute you are, or smothers you in hugs and kisses - each day he expresses his love for you both. Through his expression, my love for him multiplies. You have brought out this great love in us.

6) The happiest moments are unplanned.

Once I became a mother, I learned there were so many things that we couldn't plan - especially with your early arrival Alexander. We had to take each day, even each moment, one at a time and cherish it. This has made me relish the small moments we get to spend together. You've taught me there is nothing better than nosy kisses, craziness at dinner, donut Saturdays, shooting hoops, splashing at bath time, telling stories before bed, forts, long walks in the double stroller, tickling, singing songs... the list goes on and on!

You are the best boys for me and I couldn't love you more! 

Love,

Your Mom

Easter and April 5

Easter has been a very special day for our family for quite some time. 

It was the day I was baptized and confirmed into the Catholic Church. It was the day Andrew came home after spending three days in the NICU. It was also the day that we learned that Alexander would be coming home soon. This year was just as big - the first Easter we were able to spend together as a family.

It was very low key, as the entire Stopulos family and grandparents were down in Kansas City, celebrating my brother in law Steven and his confirmation into the Catholic Church. Pete made an amazing brunch and Jaclyn joined us for food and fun on the patio. Watching the boys play together is such a joy!

Easter this year happened to fall on April 5 - the anniversary of Pete and I being introduced in Iowa City 13 years ago. It seems like only yesterday that we started dating but we've come so far together. It's crazy to think about how much we've been through. I love him more and more each day!

So this Easter we celebrate so much - family, love and Jesus. 

Birthday Extravaganza & Surprises

Growing up birthdays were always a big deal. Extended family and close family friends would gather at our house for a meal, presents and cake. And every other year there would be a "kid" party, where we did an activity and could invite our friends. Each year it was spectacular. 

It's a tradition I hope to continue with our family and we got the chance of a birthday extravaganza with Andrew's 3rd birthday.

I have to admit, I was a bit bummed as the doctors cautioned us from having a "kid" party or one with a lot of people. We decided it was definitely worth it to keep Alexander safe. And despite not having any other guests his age, I think it was just as fun. 

We started out the celebration with being the lucky guests at the Kardel farm - along with all of Andrew's grandparents, uncle Tim, and his nanny, Jaclyn. Andrew got to ride 2 different tractors and a mower, followed by seeing live turkeys! He couldn't have been more thrilled!! Then we headed back to our house for lunch, Dairy Queen ice cream cake and presents.

My parents stayed the night and we laid low and played hard. Sunday night we took Andrew to his first concert (that wasn't his uncle TIm). It was a band, Anderson East, that Andrew heard often with his nanny and he had a blast.

Then the actual birthday, he awoke to a present and a special breakfast. Then a special lunch at Chick-fil-a and a visit to the park - yes, it was just like the day he was born, warm and windy. Then a special dinner and more ice cream cake. Quite the day!

I remember the day that my first baby was born well. It was calm, easy, and full of excitement and love. He now loves coffee ice cream, reading Berenstein Bear books and listening to stories about fixing construction vehicles.  He says things like "ahh shucks" and "it's okay, accidents happen" and even, "you don't have to freak out mom". He's an old soul stuck in my now three year old's body.

Andrew wrapped up his 3rd birthday by thanking us, not in the typical way, but in his own way - asking me to rock him and cuddle. My talkative, independent and crazy 3-year-old doesn't like to cuddle or even show very much affection, so this was a special surprise for me. It definitely took me back three years ago when we would rock him, cuddle him and he would fall asleep in our arms. 

The Truth About Preemies

The story of a preemie does not end when they go home from the hospital. 

The truth is, the hospital stay can be a nightmare, but sometimes once your preemie gets home it can feel like a reoccuring bad dream. 

I recognize we were lucky to bring Alexander home. That he's here with us is a miracle in and of itself. We are fortunate he is off oxygen and that his only doctor appointments at this point are follow up high risk appointments. Of course he has breathing treatments twice a day and a couple therapy appointments each month but he's almost golden - now considered almost "average," (although not to us!). 

I know we are lucky and blessed, but this is a very lonely path.

Because of Alexander's weak lungs he can get sick very easily. Most babies with BPD (bronchopulmonary dysplasia, sometimes called chronic lung disease) can end up back in the hospital with respiratory failure after catching just a common cold. We have made the decision to obey our doctors orders and keep Alexander on isolation - pretty much putting our family on isolation as well. 

What this means is we have never gone to church as a family. We have never attended the weekly brunch at Village Inn as a family. We spent most of Christmas at home, alone. We don't have play dates. We don't go to restaurants. We don't see our friends with children. We don't have people over who have children or who have been sick. We can't run errands with Alexander - no grocery store, Walgreens or Sam's Club. Pretty much someone has to be at home with Alexander at all times - he can only leave the house for doctors appointments and Grandma/Grandpa's homes (when people are healthy).

I'm not sharing this for sympathy, or worse pity. I'm sharing to help educate. To help start a dialog of the effect of a premature birth on an entire family. How scary it is every day to wonder if your baby is going to get sick and end up back in the hospital. How lonely it is to not be able to go do the things you want to do and see the people you want to see with your family. How normally when you bring your baby home for the first time you want every one to come see him, but with a preemie you stand guard blocking people and germs with all the power you have. 

I've definitely shed many tears about the things we can't do. I've been upset, I've said, "it's not fair," and I've even been angry. I've come close to calling this a bout of depression. I feel very disconnected - even with working outside the home. I know my relationships have suffered. 

But I've decided it is time to be done. I want to be an advocate, instead of playing the victim card. This is the first step - to share my story. An insider perspective, if you will, on what it's like to be a mother of a micro-preemie.

June 1 is our day given by Alexander's doctors - the day that Alexander can be released from isolation. The day that Alexander can be treated "normal" and go into public like a "normal" one year old.

What we've done has worked. Alexander has stayed healthy (minus a runny nose and cough) through the winter - only two more months to go until flu season is complete...for this season. Unfortunately, this won't be the last time to be scared or nervous about illness. This June 1st date will be hard for me because it doesn't erase how we've spent the past six months and the sacrifices we've made. 

I guess I just stick with the theme... short-term pain for long-term gain. And know that it was worth it. 

Changes

It's been three months since my last post. Since then, we've had lots of changes.

We are very busy chasing, that's right, chasing Alexander around the house. He is a very speedy crawler and just started taking steps. He will also pull himself along furniture and windows. Now he will take two to three steps, sometimes even more. We have struggled with continued weight gain but hope his new high fat diet will help!

We have called in even more miracles and Alexander stayed healthy through the holidays. I caught what I think was the flu, which turned into sinus infection and bronchitis. It was tough because I had to wear a mask at all times when I was home and tried to avoid taking care of Alexander as much as I could. We also avoided a lot of sick family over the holidays. My parents were unable to come to our home due to illness and we had to stay home from most of the Christmas celebrations to keep our distance from those who were sick. It was hard but we were just thankful to be home. We continue to be in isolation until June 1. That will be the awesome day when we are able to take Alexander into public places and treat him like an average baby - despite us knowing that he will never be average! 

It's so much fun to see Andrew and Alexander play together. I never thought I would have to say, "We don't body slam our brother!" or "We don't head butt our brother." but these phrases seem to be common place at our home. And I'm saying it to both boys! They are going to be a feisty bunch!

Andrew is hilarious as always, with the funniest comments ever. He seems to be non-stop and while he often is pushing the envelope, he's a blast. Andrew and I recently traveled to my friend Susie's home near Chicago to visit. Her Lucas is 1 month younger than Andrew - despite the fact that they were due the same day! Lucas is soon to be a big brother as well! We had so much fun!

There have been some BIG changes with my career. Right before Christmas I decided it was time to finally pursue one of my dreams that would give me more time with my family - becoming a Realtor. I officially resigned from my position as Director of Marketing & Public Relations for Ruhl&Ruhl Realtors and finished on Friday. I've taken all of my classes and passed my test! Just waiting on my background check to come through and I'll be official! I start work with Pete tomorrow at Ruhl&Ruhl Realtors - just a day before Alexander's "one year" adjusted birthday. We are teaming up and will be able to help each other as we move forward into this exciting journey. I'm very excited and can't wait to get started!

And, still more... Pete and I are chairing the March of Dimes March for Babies in the Quad Cities. We are so happy to be giving back to an organization so close to our hearts. The walk is April 25 on the Rock Island Arsenal. To join us to walk or donate, please visit www.marchforbabies.org/alexstopulos. We would love to have you all there to help us support this great cause!

With all this change in our lives, I've renewed my commitment to keep this blog updated, so expect to check back often!