38 weeks and 3 Months

Today Alexander is 3 months old. Today also marks 38 weeks in my pregnancy with him. It's crazy to think I should be walking around with a huge belly and 7lb baby inside me. I really wish I still was. I spoke to a new friend this week, who happens to be one of my saviors, and she said that mothers in our position grieve for the healthy pregnancy they didn't have, the normal delivery they didn't get and the healthy baby they didn't receive. It's very true. Although I feel lucky, thankful and blessed that Alexander is here with us, I often think of what it would have been like to just be "normal". Deep in my heart I know this journey will make us stronger and feel very special to be chosen to be Alexander's parents. 

That being said, it's going to be a long road. This week our new doctor (the rotations shifted into a new month) told us he would project a homecoming closer to summer than spring. This news was devastating to me. I only want to bring Alexander home when he's good and ready but didn't anticipate that it would be so long past his due date. This journey has already taught me that you can not plan for anything. 

On the positive side, this past week has been good. It's a slow but steady progression. Alexander has gone down on his settings very slowly on the C-PAP ventilator. He's eating more - up to 48cc every three hours and growing steady. We got to help give him a sponge bath for the first time as well, which was fun and special. 

We took Andrew up to visit his "brod-r" over the weekend and had a great day. Alexander's room is large enough for all of Andrew's toys and gets our new baby used to a rambunctious almost 2 year old. Andrew likes his brother but enjoys watching Cars and Mickey more than watching Alex! 

QUICK QUIPS

Weight: 7 lbs 1.5 oz (as of 2/15) 

Day of Life: 91

Gestational Age: 38 weeks

Alexander is: hating having his tube go in his nose and makes it his personal mission to try and pull it out at all costs - even when I am holding him. He's very strong and very focused on this one task!

We enjoyed: being part of bath time this week and just helping with a normal parent task.

I feel: thankful to have my NICU mom's Facebook group and friends who know exactly how I am feeling and who are there for me!!!

Lesson learned: Big journeys begin with small steps and we will continue to put one foot in front of the other.